Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? Where excitement and all that waiting and craving for each other’s presence enhance the magic of your connection? Why are they so different from common relationships? And why could it get highly challenging to make them work? Naturally, distant relationships share similar phases. Besides dedication to one another, how much effort you put in to make your connection work will decide its outcome.
The reason why many distant relationships lose their initial spark is that the couple stops evolving. Then, the initial magic fades away, and boredom can replace it. Being together doesn’t feel natural anymore, things become forced, the two of you could feel unknown to each other. The initial sparks lose their power and spending time together could feel like you are with an old friend. Life is tough and relationships can be even tougher.
The man may stop initiating things, or keep the attraction high. Perhaps he could be shy, or tired of work… The point is, you could help him, but not by being bossy. By signaling him it is a good thing to be romantic, and exploring areas you haven’t yet seen together. This includes going to new places, doing more fun things, having a better quality conversation which we all need to improve, and even getting braver physically!
If you feel you are lacking the kind of progress you would like, this list might help to identify if you skipped a crucial step:
In the beginning, you are easygoing, open, and hope for the best. You are learning about, testing, and pushing each other’s boundaries. You are becoming more and more attracted to your partner and it feels great together with the upbuilding physical tension between you. If you can communicate your mutual chemistry, it could set an amazing foundation.
A great relationship starts with connecting emotionally. Therefore, it is best to learn about one another as much as possible, get to know each other on a soul and mind level, and recognize each others’ boundaries to see if you are both willing to sacrifice in the long run. A sexual connection feels best as icing on the cake after you have deeply connected on a soul level.
Questions and Doubts
It is only a human characteristic to test each other at the beginning of the relationship. Usually, as the connection deepens our fears start to kick in, and doubts can arise whether it is going to work. Your inner voice could bring up all the faults in your partner or how the two of you aren’t that great of a match. The red flags you initially ignored may show up again. If you give it more time, you could have a better understanding.
Being Hopeful Again
If the two of you are over the initial phase of doubts, you can experience a fresh sense of hope. You could see your bright future together again. You feel like you can tackle any obstacles in this heightened place.
Women can get quite worried over losing the relationship you two have built together. This is significantly stronger than doubt. At this stage women could fear losing their man so much they want more closeness and control over his life. As long as it does not become an obsession it’s okay. Remember that men should be an accessory, not a necessity.
Create a Trusting Space
Instead of wanting to control him, work on creating a safe atmosphere where you can optimally trust each other. Understanding and attentively listening to each other’s needs builds trust. Both of your needs must be met, so you need to clarify your boundaries and agree on compromises. In my experience, men need respect and loving care the most, while women need attentive care, and to express their emotions for which they are loved.
Shared Time of Intimacy and Fun
Doing fun things and exploring the world together is the most important part of any relationship. Going on regular dates, creating routines, sharing free time activities can spark up and deepen your bond. Meaningful conversations, eating together, doing sports, socializing, attending various events, and family gatherings will all make you learn about each other a lot and bring you closer.
The best if you don’t force these things, you should both be happy with your choice of program. Relax and enjoy the moment! While you perhaps work independently from each other, when you get together you could celebrate it. I think there’s a healthy balance in both allowing your relationship enough space to happen and working on making it more fun, interesting, and a space where you can both learn and grow.
Your Safe Harbor
When you can trust each other, you will be so relaxed in each other’s company that no matter the distance, you will crave to connect even online. If he is that type of man you can turn to amid distress, you will think of him and your connection as your safe harbor. When he reassures you with love he will place you in such heights from where you can easily reciprocate all that caring.
This is the right order, we are created this way. If more people understood and acted like this, there would be a lot more healthy relationships. And if he is always there for you, making you feel safe and protected, you can know your feelings are mutual. Then, you won’t have to worry about any toxicity or dysfunction ruining your relationship even from a huge distance. You will recognize your partner is your peaceful space.
The Phase of Commitment
When your partner sees you as a high-value person, he will want to commit seriously. He will make you and your connection a priority in his life. If you are indeed deeply connected on a mind, soul, spiritual and physical level, it could feel like the two of you are bonded together through an unseen contract. And your connection should last for life, neither of you wants anyone else. Men will see you as high-value if you are strong, independent, and not easily impressed.
Men love an initial challenge, when they have to win you over. And you have an intelligent and informed view of the world. When he sees your value, he will want to impress you and prove his value to you. Ideally, you should commit to each other through positive feelings, such as seeing high value in your partner. It is never a healthy relationship dynamic to commit over negative things, like which social groups we don’t like… True commitment feels uplifting.
Seeing Your Future Together
Meanwhile, he should sense your continuous confidence. Especially if you date online or in a distant relationship. This will keep him coming back for more… When your contact is solid and safe, you should discuss your future together. Creating common goals will ensure you can seriously grow together. Most importantly, you should see clearly where you are in your relationship and where you are heading.
You don’t want to wait for him if he isn’t clear, and he will be if he loves you.